God's Promise

After the rain had ceased after Noah's ark had stopped, and after all the animals had left, Noah looked up, were the symbol of God’s promise stood, “I shall never flood the earth.” It was the first Rainbow. This is why each time I see a rainbow I think it is God's promise. I don't only think it is the promise that God won't flood the earth again, but that it is a promise to me that things are going to be alright and that what I am doing or where I am going is where he wants me.

I really had a hard time in elementary school. It was very hard for me to understand and to finish my homework. The teachers had told my parents that I had ADD. My mom refused to treat me with medication and had to bear with me while I did my homework. We decided to switch schools to see if it would be better. Fourth grade in the new school turned out to be the most horrible school year of my life. I ended up having to do 5 to 8 hours of homework a day. I always thought that something was wrong with me.

After praying a lot for my school, God showed my parents a new one. I remember the first day at my new school. There were about five rainbows in the sky. It was so amazing. Seeing those rainbows put my heart at peace. I knew that God had heard my prayers and this was the sign of His faithfulness.

The 2 ½ years I spent in this new school were incredible. I had one of the highest grades of the class. I could finish my homework. I felt normal. Nothing was wrong with me; it was just the way I learned.

So what does this have to do with my mission in the States? Well, I had asked God to open the doors where he wanted me to go and to make it very clear that that was where he wanted me. Sometimes I am very stubborn in the sense that I have a feeling of what God wants me to do, but most times the uneasiness or the doubt wins out. I am not 100% sure, so I don't do it. As you've read in my previous blog post “Listening to God's voice,” He told me to get out of my comfort zone. I listened, but, where am I supposed to go? What is the next step? All these questions and uncertainty made it easy for me to dismiss that sense I had received from the Lord. I was probably mistaken; that wasn’t really the Lord. But not long afterwards, I had a conversation with a friend who assured me that I needed to get out of my comfort zone. He said, “Vic, I think you are too comfortable, even when you do a lot of service, you revolve too much around your family. The first thing I think you should do is to go and live somewhere else.” Wow, ok so getting out of my comfort zone is leaving home, yes God, but where will I go? A long story short, God made it clear to me that I was supposed to go to Detroit.

I knew where I was going, but how could I raise the money? One of the things I did was selling gummy bears and chocolate chip cookies at Youth Group. I did this for about five Saturdays. I knew that I had to raise the money somehow but one of the things I hate is when some people ask money for their mission and don't do anything. I didn't want to be a hypocrite, and I certainly was going to try my best to raise the money. I had completely forgotten that the Lord provides. I had a big surprise when I got an envelope from the Youth Group that said, “For Ana Vic's Mission.” Wow! The biggest impact for me was not the amount of money (it didn’t support the whole mission), but the fact that they wanted to help me with my mission and were praying for me. God provides.

The importance of the Youth Group in my heart is huge. The people in it are its heart and I cherish every one very dearly. Most of them are missionary kids, so they will only come for about 3 to 6 months. Thanks to all of the people who have come and gone I’ve learned to trust God and that good bye's are not forever, they are just see you later. I have met more than 100 people who are mostly missionary kids and therefore have left to do God's work when he has called them. I am sure that as Christians we will see each other again, not necessarily in this Earth, but in Heaven. My last night, one day before I left Costa Rica, as it is tradition for anyone who leaves, the Youth Group took me to the front and prayed over me and for my mission. Listening to their prayers, I was surprised at the way God had used me to touch other people. One of the guys who prayed for me thanked God for my impact in school. I was actually different enough that people saw God in me. People saw my behavior towards others. I had always thought that I was an invisible high schooler who went against the flow. In reality God was using me to be an example to others, to spark curiosity of why I was different and wanting to be my friends. What a joy it was to hear those words. It was so encouraging to see the fruits of my work and to know that God continues to work in me, that God is using me right now.

The week before leaving Costa Rica I was very busy doing last minute errands and saying good bye to friends, but the day I left was bad. Evil had crept curiously over me and the night before coming, after Youth Group, had given me the opportunity to read a 500 page book. Why evil? Because the next morning I was completely exhausted and useless. I wanted to finish the book so bad that I think I only got about 4 hours of sleep that night and almost didn't finish packing. I was very crabby and didn't go to church because I hadn't finished packing.

My parents got back from church and my brother was tired, which meant that one couldn't even look at him or he would scream and cry throwing a tantrum. I had all the family’s insurance papers I had to give to my dad, with the bad news that I hadn't been able to turn them in. I heard my brother slam his bedroom door and my parents downstairs. I went to tell my dad the things he needed to give me that I was missing and I also needed to give him the papers.

Part of the chores in my house are to fix the electric things in our house, scan, sort and organize all that is related to sickness and health for our family. I had been able, with my mom’s help, to fix the sowing machine and the fans, but not the toaster. When I went down my dad got mad, really mad because his bread had burned. That was the drop that spilled the water. Let us just say that the toaster died beyond repair. All the things that were going through my mind where thoughts of failure. I hadn't fixed it. What would he say when I gave him my incomplete work? I ran to my room and the tears just ran down my face, I tried to stop, but I couldn't, the pain was too great. I heard the guard's phone and remembered that my dad's best friend was coming to say goodbye and pray for me. I heard my dad slam the door to his office saying that I had forgotten to tell his friend he could not eat lunch with us. I had told him, but he had insisted on dropping by just to say good-bye and to pray for me. I didn't want him to see me cry; but the more I tried to swallow back the tears, the more tears would flood my eyes. I managed to fool my mind by telling myself that I could cry after he left. I washed my face but you could tell I was upset. When I went down to greet him with half a phony smile, I actually was happy he had come. He gave me a hug and prayed for me. Praying. I had completely forgotten to pray that day, not only that, but I hadn't gone to church. I didn't quite know it at the time, but evil had crept in silently to my field to steal more ground for battle. Evil was also stealing my ammunition; he was disabling me so that he could increase the chance to win this battle. And I would draw farther away from God. If God has great plans for me, would Satan just allow them to happen? No! He would fight. The important factor is to see that the best place to be is in God's protection. To be there we need to pray and that is what I had forgotten to do that day. I felt a lot better after he prayed. I thanked him and said good-bye.

I only had to face my dad now. I felt better by knowing God was with me and the only problem was that anger had taken hold of my dad. “The sooner I do it, the faster it will be over,” I thought. I knocked the door. My dad was in his chair looking very serious. Swallowing my tears I went in his office and sat down. I told him what I needed and gave him the incomplete papers of the insurance. He told me that I was supposed to have presented the papers, but that it was OK, he would do it. A complete feeling of shame came over me; I was a disappointment to my dad. I had failed once again. What I needed to do was to cry to let it all out. Just like I had written one time when I was upset, “tears are the cleansing of my soul, healing the scars people have left bleeding.” I ran to my room took my teddy bear, hugged him and just sat there crying. While I cried, I prayed. I prayed for the emotions that were taking a hold of me, for I knew that the enemy was putting them in my mind. I prayed for strength to forgive and all the time I cried, my father from heaven was consoling me. I was his child and he had taken me in his arms to comfort me.

Lunch was ready. I had to go. At the beginning it was very quiet, we prayed and started eating in silence. Then, my brother threw a tantrum. I could tell we were all tense from my leaving and my brother was upset because of it; my brother and I are very united and have never been apart for more than 2 weeks. At the table we ignored him. I was waiting for my dad to apologize so that I could forgive him. Even after praying I was resentful because he had let anger take control. I cried a little because my mom was crying. They were going to tell me what they were going to miss me and thanked me for what a blessing I was. Then they both prayed for me. My dad was sorry for what had happened and I forgave him because I couldn't bear the thought of leaving being mad at him. That is why I had prayed for strength, for I knew that I couldn't do it without God and I would not let the enemy ruin the relationship my dad and I have.

Saying good bye to my mom and my brother was not as hard as I had imagined. God had given me the peace that I would see them again. My dad was coming with me and was taking Where the Red Fern Grows to finish reading it together. My dad and I have a very strong bond. If I have given you the image that he is an angry person, I am sorry. He is a strong, sensitive, and loving father who struggles with anger just as everyone struggles with something.

It was time to leave. My dad put my bags in the taxi and told me that he put a duffle bag in one just in case one of the suitcases didn't survive. I had told him that the bag was very old, but since he had insisted, I packed in it. It was too late to unpack and pack in another bag. My brother would not let go of me and my mom had to practically rip him off me. My dad and I got in the car. The ride there was silent at the beginning, then we started talking and acting as we normally do—telling bad jokes and finishing each other’s sentences because sometimes we know what the other is thinking. Then when we were about to get to the airport, a beautiful sight was seen. An airplane landing with the curtain of rain and sun behind it that was just in the right angle so that we could only see the nature and no man made technology but the airplane and the road. It was as if technology and nature were competing in beauty but making a masterpiece by being united. I would have been a great picture if we had cameras. Neither one of us had brought one.

I had been preparing myself for the airport to be packed; I had never expected it to be practically empty. Apparently, since it was a Sunday afternoon there weren't many flights. I paid my “getting out of the country” tax really quick and had tickets in hand in less than 15 min. Now my dad and I were going to finish reading the book he had brought. It had taken us over a month to finish it because I would read it to him only when he was icing his back. We were missing two pages and we both wanted to finish before I left. Where the Red Fern Grows talks about a kid who trusted God and got his prayers answered. Even when he went through unfortunate circumstances, he knew God had a plan. So we were pretty excited to see how it would end. We finished it. The end was a promise that everything would be all right. The signs was a red fern growing over their house. As I looked up from my book, not meeting my father's watery gaze, I could not believe it. There in the sky was a promise. God was answering my prayer and was assuring me that I was going where he wanted me to go, that I was doing his will. In the sky, above the mountains, there lay a rainbow.